People, Please!

**Changing the dynamic when you can’t change them.**

THEY DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE FOR YOUR EXPERIENCE TO CHANGE

People, Please! is a live 6-week program based on Internal Family Systems for anyone who is tired of having the same frustrating interactions with the same people—and feeling like nothing changes it. You’ll identify what’s happening, learn why the pattern keeps repeating, do the work through IFS to unhook yourself from the pattern, and change the dynamic even when they don’t change, by changing the part of it that’s actually within your control.

JOIN PEOPLE, PLEASE! FOR $297

You already know how it’s going to go…

You know who will make the comment, who will disappear when there is work to do, who will expect you to manage the plans, the feelings, or the fallout. You know when the tension will hit its peak- when you’re running late for the flight, trying to put the kids to bed, or just trying to go to sleep yourself.

The frustrating part is that knowing what they’ll do doesn’t seem to change how you feel when they do it or what you do in response. The pattern plays out, yet again, and you walk away feeling like…

UGH, why does this keep happening? If only they would change already!

You’re doing the work, but they aren’t, and it’s frustrating, even infuriating. You don’t know what else to do… so you keep trying, but ultimately can’t stop playing out what seems to be your designated role in the situation.

You smooth things over. Pick up the slack. Explain yourself again. Get controlling. Go quiet. Say something you regret. You walk away feeling frustrated, disconnected, unsupported, sad, angry, and somehow guilty, then spend the next three days arguing your case against them in your head.

Even when we have spent years working on ourselves, certain dynamics pull us right back into a version of ourselves we thought we had outgrown.

BECAUSE KNOWING BETTER DOES NOT STOP THE REACTION. TO DO THAT, WE NEED TO UNHOOK OURSELVES FROM THE PATTERNS PLAYING OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Internal Family Systems understands the mind as a system of parts.

EACH PART HAS A JOB. ONE KEEPS THE PEACE. ANOTHER TAKES CHARGE. ONE WORKS HARD TO BE LIKED. ANOTHER GETS ANGRY THE MOMENT IT SENSES DISRESPECT.

When a familiar person does a familiar thing, one of these parts can take over before you have time to decide how you want to respond. You fall into the role you know: fixing, pleasing, explaining, withdrawing, or fighting back.

The goal is not to get rid of that part. It is to recognize what it is protecting you from, notice when it has taken over, and create enough space for another response to become possible.

IN PEOPLE, PLEASE! YOU WILL PRACTICE DOING THAT WITH REAL PATTERNS FROM YOUR OWN LIFE: CATCHING THE REACTION EARLIER, UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS DRIVING IT, AND CHOOSING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NEXT.

These patterns don’t only happen with family.

The pattern may involve your spouse, your children, a close friend, your social circle, an employee, or the team you manage.

It applies anywhere you keep becoming the fixer, time keeper, pleaser, manager, peacekeeper, victim, or righteous one.

The holidays tend to make these roles easier to see. There’s more contact, more expectations, more stress, and less room to recover. Old roles can return even when you are not traveling or spending time with your family.

With calls in November and December, you will be learning and practicing while these patterns are actually showing up—not waiting until afterward to understand what happened. It is a chance to stop automatically stepping back into your familiar role and try something different while the pattern is unfolding.

What we will work on

THIS IS NOT ABOUT BECOMING ENDLESSLY CALM, AGREEABLE, OR “HEALED.” IT IS ABOUT BECOMING LESS AUTOMATIC—AND ABLE TO ACT FROM THE PERSON YOU ARE NOW.

Over six weeks, you will learn how to:

Identify the role you play within specific relational dynamics—and the part of you that keeps stepping into it

Say what is true, set a boundary, or make a request without attacking or overexplaining

Recognize what that part is trying to protect you from, or accomplish for you

Understand what may be driving someone else without excusing harmful behavior or taking responsibility for their feelings

Learn how to notice your activation earlier and create space before you defend, fix, take over, or shut down

Practice a different response—and repair without spiraling into shame when you fall back into the old one

JOIN PEOPLE, PLEASE! $297

What to know as you decide

You may already spend a lot of time looking for your part in a specific dynamic. You may be quick to fix, solve, help, or take responsibility—sometimes for far more than you actually control. Or you may simply be tired of trying everything you know while the same interactions keep happening.

You don’t need previous experience with IFS, and you don’t need to know exactly what your part in the pattern is.

This program will ask you to bring curiosity to your own reactions, even when another person’s behavior is genuinely frustrating or hurtful. It will not ask you to excuse their behavior, accept harmful treatment, or keep a relationship close.

People, Please! empowers you to have a new and different experience of the same dynamics—it’s not a strategy for making another person behave differently.

They may change in response to the shift in the pattern, or they may remain the same. The power is in doing work that allows you to feel better and engage differently, whether they change or not.

Your enrollment includes:

6 live group calls with teaching, guided practice, and coaching

Breakout-room practice with parts work

Worksheets that help you identify your role in the pattern

Go to practices to use between calls

Between call support while you apply the work in your real relationships

JOIN PEOPLE, PLEASE!

Your Enrollment Also Includes A Buddy Pass!

EVERYONE WHO JOINS THIS ROUND WILL RECEIVE A CODE FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER TO JOIN THEM FOR FREE - TO DO THE PROGRAM TOGETHER

It’s harder to change the dynamics when you feel alone in the work. We hope all our participants make connections that last inside of our programs, and work to facilitate that — and, isn’t it nice to do the work with someone who you’re already close to in life? So for this holiday program, we’re doing something special…

When you buy a spot for this round of People, Please!, you’ll also receive an email with a code to pass on to one of your humans so they can join you in People, Please! FREE.

What Students Say

“Being able to witness others and be witnessed by others has been powerful. The authenticity and vulnerability of the shares helps to illustrate the work and helps me learn more about how it is done well.”

— Rob Rubin

“I see and know the value of my skills, abilities & talent as a coach more than ever before. I am owning the power of my offerings and my work, and standing in my pricing with more authenticity. I have stopped people-pleasing in challenging situations with clients, and am instead identifying and speaking my own truth and holding my boundaries and my business as a leader, with greater personal integrity.”

— Haley Reese

“The inner work I've experienced as a participant [has been the most beneficial]. I have truly uncovered some of the most beautiful insights about myself and I feel so powerful and regulated because of it. I've learned how to turn inward instead of looking outward for the answers and to trust myself even deeper than I did before.”

— Ashley Kruse

The people in your life may remain very much themselves

Your mother may offer the same unsolicited advice. You can let it pass without questioning yourself—or tell her you’re not looking for input on this.

Your dad may avoid the conversation. You can meet his discomfort with compassion without chasing him, pretending you don’t care, or abandoning what you need to say.

Your brother may make the same irritating joke. You can laugh if it’s actually funny, tell him to knock it off if it isn’t, or decide it’s not worth giving the rest of dinner to.

Your colleague may forget the details you already discussed or pretend they didn’t know about the deadline. You can address what happened, clarify what needs to happen next, and hold them accountable without taking over the entire project or making their behavior mean something about you.

Your kid may have a tantrum in front of other people. You can respond to what your child needs, set whatever limit is necessary, and let the peanut gallery manage their own discomfort.

Your spouse may say the thing that usually feels like bait. You might recognize a bid for connection and name what’s happening then respond to what is underneath it.

You may still feel irritated, disappointed, or hurt. Having more choice doesn’t mean becoming passive, unaffected, or endlessly accommodating. Sometimes the new response is letting it go. Sometimes it is telling the truth, making a request, setting a boundary, or leaving the conversation.

They may remain very much themselves, but you don’t have to become that old version of yourself in response.

You can change the dynamic, without having to change them. We’ll show you how in People, Please!

Join Us For People, Please!

PROGRAM DATES:

Join us live Wednesday nights from 7:00-8:30pm EST/ 4:00-5:30pm PST.

All calls will be recorded and all worksheets, trainings, and materials are lifetime access.

November 4th, 11th, and 18th ~ December 2nd, 9th, and 16th

PAY IN FULL

$297

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PAYMENT PLAN

2 x $160